Sanctuary and refuge. A sacred space of calm, peace, and love.

This was another photo I took during a photo walk in Vance Woods. I was amazed that at the beginning of December there were still these roses blooming along with the orange and red Autumn leaves. Many leaves had already fallen so when I walked I loved the crunching, crackling sound they made. All of my senses were in tune to the world around me. I could see the beautiful bold colors of the leaves, hear the leaves crackling under foot while I walked, the birds chirping, animals scurrying in the woods, squirrels scampering and eating, smell acorns, leaves, acrid smoke smell of people burning leaves, see the gorgeous blue sky with only a few puffy white clouds, sun shining bright. The Earth. My foot falls were solid and I felt so connected to the Earth, connected to All.

I took this photo a few months ago when Autumn was wearing her beautiful, vibrant crown jewels. It was taken during a solitary photo walk in Vance Woods. I was mesmorized by all the brilliant color around me. I keep coming back to this photo time and time again for inspiration. When there's cooler weather I feel more vibrant and alive. The gift of life, renewal, and rebirth!

Happy New Year!

In our clear field of vision is what lays before us this moment, this single second, not what will happen in 10 seconds from now, 10 minutes from now, 10 hours from now, 10 days from now, not what happened a decade ago, or even a minute ago. It is happening NOW! Each second there is renewal. We release one second to embrace the next.

I love January 1st, New Year's Day. With the beginning of this new year I want everything to fall into place for me in my life. I feel like I've done all the hard work in years past. At the start of the new year I feel a freshness, a time for new beginnings when the slate is wiped clean and we start anew. I want that expectancy I feel now to exist for me every morning when I face a new day with fresh eyes, a new perspective, a postivie perspective. I have such hopes for myself for this year. I know the surface, superficial things I want, so within the last few days with prayer and meditation, I've gone underneath the surface of things to dig and dive deep. I know the roots, the foundation I have to lay in order to get those things. I have to cultivate things in me, in myself. The key is to be in tune to my true, authentic self.

So in organizing my thoughts through prayer and meditation in the last few days I've come to know I have to have roots and a foundation to build all other parts of myself. I've been exploring this, and in being honest with myself there are cracks in the foundation that have been ignored for far too long. Over the past year there have been times of confusion, anger, and sadness. I think that was all healing for me, so 2011 was a year for gargantuan healing.

Through creative writing, such as when I'm writing on my novel Vance Woods, I'm learning about the path that I am on. I'm learning and exploring aspects of myself. Instead of wading through the muddy, dense muck that holds me back, where I feel stuck, I'm finding myself emerging onto dry ground. I can feel myself, my writing, and many dreams coming to fruition.

One of the key aspects to emerging is to release unwanted feelings, emotions, and things, that weigh me down and hold me back. Letting go is freeing!

I plan my life carefully and cautiously. When I think of the people I admire most in my life they are the people who have not always had a smooth ride in their life, but who have come away from these experiences with colorful stories they embrace. These people can be described as true characters and live their life with spiciness and spontaneity. I love that about them. I want to add a demension of spontaneity, sassiness, and wildness to my life. These aspects of me when cultivated will add richness to my creative writing.

Key words and phrases that will drive and guide me during the year are:

Let go
Unfold
Live fearlessly
All of this done with an air of mystery!

Happy New Year!

First day of Winter break! I love teaching, but I love to recoop for a few weeks also. The day was embraced by waking up naturally instead of harshly with an alarm clock. Pale light greeted me as I opened my eyes to a crisp morning. I lingered over a second cup of coffee, cuddled with my cat for a bit longer, listened to Adele as I journaled, the wrote on my novel for a few hours. This afternoon was filled with homemade potpouri simmering on the stove. The recipe was given to me by a student yesterday. As the sunset burned in the western sky, with its ever changing deep colors, I started work on my vision/dream board. A content and peaceful mind.

Recipe for potpouri:

1/2 an orange
1/2 a lemon
1 stick of cloves
1 stick of cinnamon
water
Fill pan with ingredients and enjoy the wafting scent.

Last weekend I had the best time at a writing retreat. The whole time was truly magical. There was lots of productivity and many breakthrough moments in my writing. This could not have happened without the unconditional support, nurturance, and acceptance from my friend, editor, and writing retreat facilitator Carla Blazek! An absolute phenomenal time! Thank you Carla!

I tend to write and write and write. I get consumed by it and will lose many hours in writing, which is a blessing. It's a wonderful thing, but at the same time I should in tune to my body and what is going on with me. So she incorporated walks in the nearby woods by the lake, eating lunch outside, and we had LOTS of laughter! I value every second of this time I gifted myself with.

One of the many, many, many things I learned was things are not perfect, I know that on a cerebral level, but really internalized it last weekend. Flawed is a beautiful word. If we wait for perfection we miss out on life, it blocks us from life source which is filled with joy, elateable, exalted joy! We miss out when practicing perfectionism. I will write about several times when I stood in the flow of life, floating effortlessly downstream, allowing the moment to BE, to be full.

A song that has been coming to me all week is Pink's song, Raise Your Glass.
"So raise your glass if you are wrong,
In all the right ways,
All my underdogs,
We will never be never be anything but loud
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks
Won't you come on and come on and raise your glass,
Just come on and come on and raise your glass
Wish you'd just freak out (freak out already)
Don't be fancy, just get dancey
Why so serious?"

That's it! This song nails it! To me raising my glass isn't literal, it's living life fully, in a real, honest, and organic way! Truly living! Life is messy, flawed, and beautiful! I want to strive to write from this point of view, the real, raw, juicy, interesting, fire of life!

Yesterday was an interesting day. It consisted of reading The Paris Wife on the sofa, dozing on and off with my cat. The napping, the sychronized breathing of me and Mocha, my cat, completely relaxed me. Later, sitting in the window watching the world outside right before a storm, drinking lemongrass and spearmint tea I was inspired to write a poem.

There is always an intense calm
Before a storm
A time, a pivotal moment
When the storm could pass
Leaving a world of peace and tranquility,
Or it could come with strong wind,
Flashes of lightning, booming thunder,
And stinging hail
To hit you head on
Unprepared.