My heart goes out to the people of Japan. When the earthquake hit you were rocked to your foundation. Such devastation. I have been praying for you Japan and all it's people. I will continue to pray for you and send you healing from God. My heart goes out to you. You are in my prayers! There is hope and love always!

Through sleep
My hard edges
From the night
Before are
Rubbed smooth

Day dawns fiery,
Dynamic, bright, and
Brilliant
All possibilities of the
Upcoming day
Held within
One glistening,
Reflective
Dew drop
I relinquish all
Control, to let this
Day become what
It is supposed to be.

Thankful for all.

Merry Christmas!
I'm thankful to have been blessed with another Christmas with my mom and dad!
This is a little poem that kept running through my mind and I was inspired to write this morning.


Memories Contained

After all the hoopla
I went back into the
Room, which was now
Filled with silence
The walls and furnishings held
Memories
Of past Christmas, birthday
Parties, socials, get togethers,
Sleeples nights, lazy afternoons,
Filled with movies, books read,
Journals written in, scraps of words escaping,
Dreams, phone conversations,
Through laughter, tears,
Secrets, friendships lost and found,
Family and
Love
All memories contained
Within four mortar and
Plaster walls,
Memories contained in flesh, bone,
Blood, mind,
Heart and soul
Memories,
Precious memories
Cherished

I've been pondering what blocks me from being who I am, feeling my power of myself for myself, and the bravery to show my authencity and not shy away from that? So with all that thinking, I wrote a poem that will help me make sense of where I'm going with this.

I want to excavate, dig, and tunnel
Until I open all emotions I have
Ever repressed.

When an emotion, that we see as unwanted arises, the first instinct is to shield ourselves from the full extent of the experience, feeling, and emotion. This is our coping strategy to keep ourselves "safe." The shielding from any unwanted emotion is repression. After repression settles in time, layers form, then there is an awareness of the layers, finally the excavation of the layers. When the layers are peeled away, at the center, the core, brilliant radiant light shines and is never dimmed. Light of love. A still, peaceful center filled with light and love, that changes yet is unchangable all at once.

This lead me to another poem:

I'm not in control of my life
Control is an illusion
God creates the ebb and flow
I'm along for the ride
For which I am grateful.

To think we are in control of our own lives is our mind's safety net. God is the river of life in which we flow. I'm filled with love, peace, light, and gratitude!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!
I have butternut squash soup on to simmering. I'm making it today so all the flavor can really get into it by tomorrow when we eat it. I've just brewed some chamomile mint tea, settling down to drink it and do some writing on this cloudy, foggy, windy day. Life is great! There is much to be thankful for, which makes me warm from the inside out - heart and soul!

I love the crisp cool days and vibrant colors of Autumn. Everything seems more alive and authentic when touched by Autumn's cool hand. During this time I am aligned to my true self that speaks the language of creativity and I'm utterly full of joy and thanfullness. God is Love!

The fresh morning
Comes to me in silence
A burst of orange
Illuminates
Beautiful wild nature
Blazing

I'm so thankful for a leisure Saturday morning stretching into afternoon where I can just be. I have been doing some writing, listening to soothing flute music, drinking mocha, still in my pajamas and just having an exceptional good morning full of thankfulness!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTINA!

As a tribute to your birthday we are giving you a SURPRISE of our list of things that we love.

You are at the top of my list followed by:

my family

Mocha my kitten

summer thunderstorms

sunset in the gazebo reading and writing

friends

chai tea

time praying and meditating

Thank you Christina because you are such a special person! You enrich my life and touch so many lives with your optimism, love, and compassion! Thank you!

Sometimes I find it difficult to stay in the present moment. I get wrapped up with incidents of the past; what happened, how it happened, how could it have happened, what could I have done to make situations better, different, or just ok. Other moments are spent dreaming about the future, a fantasy land of grasping. This thinking, both of the past and the future are endless, ceaseless cycles that spiral, sometimes spiral out of control creating issues within. I found myself just being today. Sitting out in the gazebo taking in nature. I found myself breathing with ease and love. Not wrapped up in some story or thought, but in letting myself just be. Taking in, soaking in my surroundings, the beauty around me. Oh the flowers are gorgeous in raucous bloom, color exploding, the lilies, rose of Sharon, hydrangeas, and a few azaleas. The bird song, a beautiful melody, doves coo peaceful. Thankful, grateful, for this second in time, not striving, or grasping for anything. Just being. Just being one with my life. Just be.

We all build
Nests of hope
Inside our heart,
Clustered, in glowing
Chambers, cherished
For their innocence.

I am starting a new project for myself. I am calling it Healthy Living - makes me think of the phrase that kept popping into my head months ago - Living Whole Heart and Soul. This is the first day and will encompass every aspect of life. Through recent events of my father being in the hospital for three weeks after having to have open heart surgery, along with the stress, heartache, and sadness that go along with seeing your father this way, then to have him back on the road to recovery, has given me a whole new outlook on life. We are given one precious life to be lived to the fullest. In living it to the fullest one of my main goals is to love and show kindness to everyone and to take the time to stop and see the beauty in everyday life, no matter how busy or stressed I am at the time. Another aspect of healthy living is also to exercise daily. I have to incorporate this in my life. I am a vegetarian but have slipped into just grabbing things on the go since I had limited amount of time to sit down for a slow healthy meal that I truly enjoy. I have exercised already this morning, ate breakfast which was one buscuit with cheese. I plan on making myself a salad in a few minutes. My reward for excerising and eating well this morning will be to go to the bookstore, prowl around for some good reads, and have a soy decaf peppermint mocha. Then I plan on going for a walk in the park to look at the gorgeous spring that is blooming before my eyes. Right this minute I am in love with Life!

Oh, this morning I woke up to what looks like will be a beautiful, gorgeous spring day! The sun was shining bright, the birds were chirping cheerfully, a cool breeze blew slightly threw my open bedroom window. Today, the first day of spring, is going to be terrific!! HAPPY SPRING!!!!!

On this bleak, rainy, windy, foggy Saturday morning, I am finding beauty in everything. I am getting a chance to slow down and just BE right now. There is beauty in the barren winter trees, their branches stretching up toward the sky filled with grayish, white snow clouds. Wind quickly changes the face of the sky, clouds scattering, blowing, new formations made within seconds, a reflection of life. I am sitting at my desk, dividing my time between watching the world outside and writing, while listening to Norah Jones, drinking a vanilla latte while my kitten plays or naps. Poetry is singing in my mind as my pen brushes across the pages of my journal; I am wrapped in the folds of creativity at this moment in time, my voice and inner thoughts being heard. Creativity flows, I am grateful!

Simple Things:

The vision for my life is to live simply from an authentic, organic place. In doing that I know that it is the simple things that will feed and nourish me.
Some of my simple things:
Quite time to reflect, pray, meditate
Candles
Winter snow which brings quite and stillness
Hot tea
A good book, snuggled in a warm blanket, drinking hot tea, looking out at Winter's splendor.
Writing in a journal
My kitten Mocha
All of these things make my heart sing and when I have these simple things in my life, my life flows.

Meditation:

Sitting in the silence

Letting all flow

Through me

All goodness and love

Meditating

On the Tree of Life

Created by God

All things love

That rests in the soul

Shines

God's love always

Prevails

Fire and ice
Runs through
My veins
Coursing with
Glorious life
Filled with
Stories -
We are a moisac
Of the experiences
Of our lives
But -
Something much more
At the same time.

I wrote this after spending a few hours in the mall the other day. So it is my reaction to what was going on around me. Part of my vision for myself in 2010 is to listen to my authentic voice, the essence of who I am and be driven by my authentic self. I want to live an authentic life always. There should not be a struggle to find this part of oneself. I am making it a point to get quite and silent each day in order to connect to the authenticity that is me.

In this season of baubles and bows
Battle for authentic voice
To be heard above the endless chatter
Is a daily struggle
In an ego driven world

Morning
Made beautiful
By cold, watery
Sunshine reflecting
Off trees, dew
Bright, glittering
Jewels
A lone hawk's squawk
Echoes
Breaking Winter's
Silence

I wrote this poem the other day when I was a little under the weather:

Some days I feel
I move in shadows,
A shadow of myself -
Who I am is concealed
Never revealed
I want to live my
Life in vibrant color!

Today with the sun shining bright and the air crisp I counter the poem above with this one just written:

Embrace self
All that has flowered,
Is flowering,
Or ever will flower,
Is grace,
Surrounded by grace,
Peace within

A stream from the
Light of life -
God
Flows through
All,
Sacred roots
Run deep are
Nourished with love

Thank you Christina for inviting us to participate in The Simple Things! You are such an inspiration!

I stumbled across these wise words by Maya Angelou the other day and her phrase spoke to my heart: "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." This phrase makes me very thankful for the simple act of writing. I love to write, from writing poetry, to short stories, long stories, and everything in between.

So let me start the list of simple things that make my heart sing and my soul dance by adding writing at the very top of the list, along with:

long walks in nature
my kitten Mocha
reading
Autumn and all of her colorful spelendor
beautiful sun shine
blue skies of Autumn
crunchy leaves
rain, the sound of rain
thunderstorms
hazelnut lattes
soy decaf peppermint mochas
Borders bookstore
vegetable soup
pumpkin lattes
pumpkin soup
curling up in blankets reading a good book
classical music
dancing to pop music
teaching children
laughter of children
friends
family
laughing so hard that I snort
watching a good movie
music of any kind
this beautiful world and the people that we share the world with
prayer
peace
lavendar
peppermint
pretty stationary and pens
new journals
reading old journals
cherishing memories of college
sitting in the gazebo reading a good book on a sunny day or on a rainy day, both types of weather are good to be in the gazebo in
first snow of the year - if we get any in Georgia at all
looking at clouds float by
looking at the night sky full of twinkling stars

This list could be much longer, I will think of other things to add within the next few days and want to add more. I can't wait to read what everyone else has written.

This is the last Pink Thoughts, thank you Christina for creating such a positive idea to get awareness out, and to help support others.
A few days ago this was the quote on my calendar, "Silently time passes. The only life I have submits to its power." Hatsui Shizue This made me really think and it is so true, we have one life and it should be lived to the fullest. Many times people don't seem fully awake to themselves and living the life that takes their breath away until they are given a time limiting prognosis. We must continue to work together for everyone that is effected and will ever be effected by cancer. WIth joint efforts and renewed and continued positive thinking there will be a cure.

I absolutely love this time of the year. The crispness of Fall, the beautiful colors that pop and come alive with color. With Autumn we see nature's true colors. It fills me with hope. With the feeling of hope I am overwhelmed with pink thoughts to show support of cancer prevention and research, as more and more people become survivors of cancer.

Today I woke up and was exhilarated with life. I think of all the wonderful aspects of my life that I have been so blessed to have experienced and will continue to experience. Life is an adventure. The season of Autumn reminds me of the adventure of life and takes my breath away with it's beauty. With the vibrant colors on the trees, to the brilliant azure blue sky, and the bite to the chilly mornings I am reminded that life is beautiful and meant to be lived fully. I am also reminded of the courage of so many people who are living with breast cancer and all forms of cancer. With these people there is a beauty in their fight to find cures and for life. As I woke up this morning with my windows open to let in the chill of Autumn's breeze, snuggled in my blankets I heard a train whistle in the distance. One box car does not make a train's noise, one engine does not make a train's roar, but with all the box cars and the engine the train roars down the track. I am reminded of all the people who daily gather together to blaze down the track to find cures for breast cancer and the courageous roar of people living with the disease. Let's all roar!

Train roars
Echoing across
Still quiet Autumn,
Dawn breaking
Into nature's noise,
Train whistle creates
Man made chaos.

The train poem has nothing to do with cancer but I created it when I first woke up this morning and wanted to share that too.

I am thinking pink thoughts today. My dear friend Christina, at Soul Aperture, http://soulaperture.blogspot.com/2009/09/wont-you-join-me-please.html is hosting wonderful pink thoughts for breast cancer awareness month. We all know so many people affected by cancer. We know many people who are survivors of it also. Those survivors give us hope. I often wonder what separates those living remission cancer free after having it and those who have with cancer, which then eventually take their lives. I have met this wonderful writer in the blog world, her name is Susie Hemingway and she is over at A Power Within blog: http://susiehemingway.blogspot.com/. Her husband is living with cancer now and she celebrates the love that they share with one another and it is so very beautiful. With people like Christina and Susie who have positive thoughts and the added power of love there will be a cure. So I will continue to pray everyday for a cure and that everyone may live in peace, light, and love.

Sun shines crisp
On scattered rose petals,
Brittle leaves, and dew
That rests on the early
Morning Earth
There is love for the
Freshness of another day.

On this rainy Saturday I have taken time to do the things I love. I have had a slow day, where I take the time to enjoy myself completely. As I was working on writing a story, listening to Natasha Beddingfield music, in the quite moments listening to the rain on the windows, and leaves, my kitten, Mocha, playing at my feet, and napping on my bed, I was so joyful. Today was filled with happiness, that nourished and fed my soul and creativity. Bliss!

Scattered red petals
Stain green grass which
Is slowly fading to brown
Pungent spicy smell
Of freshly cut grass
Tickles my nose
Clouds move across
The sky like ocean
Waves
Every blade of grass
Standing at attention
Swaying in the breeze
Fiery brilliance
Radiance of
Autumn to come.

I catch a glimpse
Of myself in the mirror
As I pass, seeing
My flushed face,
Hair tucked behind
My ear, silver
Glimmer of earring
On a pale ear, surrounded
By dark damp curls
After a hard workout
Look, feeling an appreciation
Of self to the
Core of my being.

There is a sleeping bear
Hibernating, lying in it's
Lair inside each of us.
It is time to awaken
The bear of creativity
To emerge from shadown
Into light, letting all
Ablaze in the fire
Of the amazing soul
Belonging to self and
All humanity.

During an afternoon walk,
I spent the last few minutes
Gathering leaves from the
Wooded path, already
Painted by Autumn's
Vibrant hand,
The rain scented wind
Laced with a slight
Chill, Fall is around
The corner waiting to
Make her grand entrance
With bold, wild colors.

It has been a whirl wind week with getting back into the classroom, meeting my new students, therefore, this weekend I took some time for myself. This time has given me breathing space to come back tomorrow recharged for the challenges and wonderful happy times that lay ahead of me this week.

Friday evening I went for my daily walk at the park. I made a commitment to myself to walk for my health, daily; almost two months ago I began to walk at the park, making it something to get through. I wasn't used to the hills I had to trudge or other terrain. Now I am walking up to 35 minutes daily and find that it is a respite from daily endeavors, an activity I look forward to and not just something I get through. I walk at a pretty quick pace but at the same time engage all my senses to my surroundings. I find that I come into an acute awareness of the environment at that time. The walks I take allows for time in a busy day to find quiet solitude.

During this time I clear my mind. The endless thoughts circling in my mind cease. I first concentrate on my breath, footsteps, feeling the ground beneath my feet. Once it is only the breath and foot fall, then I expand to feel the breeze on my face, blowing my hair, the sound of traffic, birds flying overhead or sitting in a tree singing it's beautiful melody, children on the playground playing, hearing their laughter, squeals of delight, or the tired fussy child who wants to go home, the little league football teams playing and practicing, the loud cheers of parents, coaches yelling encouragement, or demanding the children play better, to get it together. I also hear water splashing from the indoor pool, shrieks from swimmers, the smell of chlorine, laced, mixed, and mingled with the smell of pine trees, flowers, the small rose garden, the scent of different people as they pass me on the trail. Also I tune into the fading sunlight as it penetrates the canopy of trees that I am under, light dancing on the path. Simultaneously I am aware of what is going on with me, my body, and inside of me. I know when I must push myself, picking up speed, the feel of my heart pumping nourishing blood through my body, the tingle and burn I feel in my legs, from ankle to thigh. Every one of my senses accosted while I am in tune to the whole of it. During and after my walks I am blissed out.

When I'm finished, I drive back to my house, go to the gazebo with my journal to write. Combining the quiet solitude of the walk and time in the gazebo, all the while surrounded by beautiful nature, thoughts pour out of me. During those times I have listened to the voice within myself.

In the quiet, a phrase keeps coming to me: Living Whole Heart and Soul. At first I was just given the thought of Living Whole. I began to think about what living whole means. What does living whole mean to me, in my life? Living Whole in my mind has now evolved to Living Whole Heart and Soul. Right now in my life I know living whole heart and soul means engaging in things that nourish me from the inside and outside. Quiet time daily seems to effect even the most smallest aspects of my life. I feel as if something is missing if I have not had quiet time during the day. It is elusive at first then I think well I haven't spent time really listening to the silence today, whether that turns into daily prayer, meditation, or just sitting with the silence. Daily exercise of my body engages and helps my whole being. I know that abiding by an organic, vegetarian way of life also nourishes me. I have moved closer to veganism and a raw diet that is low in sodium, carbs, and cholesterol. I feel as if I have more energy and vitality when eating this way. Daily prayer, meditation, and visualization also enriches my way of life. I read daily also. Along with this, writing in any form, occasionally painting and drawing, lets my creative side speak. To balance all the solitary activities I also find time to socialize with family and friends. I also know that growing up an only child makes it easier for me to relish in solitary quiet time and that some social situations make me withdraw, overwhelm me, and wish for smaller groups of people. Laughter is my daily dose of medicine.

This idea: Living Whole Heart and Soul has anchored in me, resonates within me in a deep place. This idea is taking flight and feeding my creative ideas that are flowing.

The vacation to the beach was fun. I had a good time there. I am in constant awe of Mother Nature and the beauty that surrounds us daily. Nature is a gift given to us from God, a vision of miracles that only He could create.

While on vacation there was a balance of resting on the beach in the sunlight reading, writing, and walking, along with going out to see history that surrounds the area of St. Augustine. I went to the Spanish Market that is filled with restaurants, art galleries, boutiques, folk art shops. It was fantastic there. I went to a couple of cathedrals there which were breath taking beautiful. I also wrote a few poems while at the beach:

My hair combed
By the wind, scented
With salt of the sea

___________________________

Sand bar full of
Shells, thrown up from
Seas' inside, born to the
Sun from darkness to light
Like the lotus
Leaves the mud and muck
To emerge into sunlight
Watching day born from night
___________________________


Ocean
Wild
A mind of it's own
Free thinker
Reacts on every whim
___________________________

It was refreshing to walk on the beach, sand beneath and between my toes, the cold water lapping at my feet, the sun warming my body.

Christina at Soul Aperture http://soulaperture.blogspot.com/ is hosting the simple things that make us happy on July 8th. I am posting early. Thank you Christina for your constant inspiration, it means the world to me.

All the simple things that bring joy, add to a monumental thing called life. I love that life is made up of all the simple things that bring pleasure and joy. I am loving the extra time that I am getting to spend reading in the gazebo. The gazebo is surrounded by flowers in full bloom, trees, bird feeders with a large amount of birds and squirrels visiting. I love to be in nature, watching the sunset with all of my senses engaged to the world around me. I love every evening sitting in nature reading, contemplating, and sharing some time with a stray cat that I have been feeding for several weeks now. She is a black and white tuxedo cat and she will sit in the grass in the fading sun while I read, she naps, stretches lazily, naps again, but at the same time she seems to be keenly aware of everything going on around her. I am abundantly thankful for the precious, fun life I have been given.

This morning my alarm clock was the sun tickling my face softly with it's warm rays as I slowly woke up, smiling. I love waking up naturally like this. I lay in bed watching the tree limbs laden with green leaves sway in the breeze making sunlight dance across the ceiling and walls. Then after I was fully awake I had some cereal with soy milk, a half cup of blueberries, and a banana. I ate this while writing in my journal and listening to the WAH! cd. I feel a balance in my life that I want to sustain not just while I am off from work, but maintain this in the long term. This balance, cohesion, and synchronicity comes from my core, the core of my being - I can feel it that strongly. I feel anchored and grounded yet I feel a vibrant flow coursing through me. I love this feeling. This balance is not temporary, I am not limiting myself, this will be a lasting aspect of my life. I am abundantly thankful.

Yesterday I thought endlessly of my elderly cousin who is now in her mid 80s. She talks about the past, her past, a lot, almost living there and it makes me sad. I can't define the sadness, if it is for her because she is stuck there, or if thinking that one day that could be me sitting there talking about the glory days of the past, my past, when I'm well into my 80 years of life. Anyway, I had to purge these thoughts out in this poem.

She gazes at her
Gnarled past sitting
On the table; quick glances
Is all she can take, steal;
She used to think of it
As a ribbon, stretched out, smooth,
Thrown carelessly onto
A surface, curves and
Elegant folds, twists
After decades now she
Sees rough knots curled
Onto one another
Zigzag roads end abruptly
Only to eventually begin again
Then just in another direction
Others long, drawn out
Then giving way to a different path
Knobby contorted choices made,
Decisions led back to its source
Herself.

Thank you Christina, at Soul Aperture, http://soulaperture.blogspot.com/ for your wonderful idea of posting what makes us happy and grateful. There are so many things that make me happy and grateful. As I was writing and thinking about this topic I noticed that most of the things that make me happy are non material items. I love that and want to make sure that I live my life more from my heart and soul, rather than a materialistic aspect. I look forward to reading every one's ideas.
I am happy and grateful for:

this glorious life I have been given to live

God

parents

friends - L, R, M, C, J, G, J, R

memories of my cat, Maya, who passed a few months back

writing poetry

writing short stories

reading

praying

authenticity

honesty/truth

meditating

art

talks on the phone with friends late into the night (haven't done this in a long time, but still love it)

laughing and laughter

listening to music - I'm really loving Natasha Beddingfield, Wah!, Norah Jones, some other Sanskrit cds, Cold Play, the list could go on and on about the music that makes me happy

teaching 5 year old children

children

laughter of children and their carefree spirits and ideas

laughing

soy peppermint mochas and hazelnut lattes

reading on a rainy day

reading in the sunshine

everyday in nature

sitting in the gazebo watching the sunset

hearing bird's song

watching birds fly, soaring free in the blue sky

feeling the breeze on my face

feeling the sun warm my face

sitting in a window when it is a winter day with the sun warming me

hot chocolate

walking barefoot in the grass

feeling the dew on my bare feet

sand on bare feet

the beach

painting

painting a canvas full of vibrant colors

dancing

chai tea

in bookstores, finding a comfy seat, a good book, and good latte

autumn/fall

Sunday afternoons

soup

Rumi poems

the mountains

staying up late

sleeping late

curling up with a good book or my journal in a blanket on a rainy, cool day

walking in nature

Mexican food, any food that is hot, salty, and spicy

peaches, pears, clementines

going to parks and walking the wooded trails, being in nature

sitting in my gazebo at dusk in the summer with candles going, their scent mixing with the scent of nature is yummy

learning new things daily

open to new possibilities and experiences that expand horizons

traveling on the path, the journey of my life, embracing all that comes my way

smiling

sunlight glittering off the green leaves of spring and summer

antique browsing and antique shopping, knowing each object has a history - interesting and intriguing

delving into getting to know myself daily, this is an ongoing process that never ceases

popcorn, chips, and salsa

animals

architecture

old houses

gardens and botanical gardens

the scent Warm Vanilla Sugar from Bath and Body Works

Japanese maple trees, especially in the fall

flowers: especially lilies - bright fiery orange lilies, lotus, jonquils, buttercups, daisies, sunflowers, and jasmine

the scent of lavender

Vincent Van Gogh's paintings

Italian Renaissance art and architecture

apricot jam

the smell of rain

smell of burning leaves in the autumn

stationary, pens, pencils, crayons, that new smell of them all

hearing children read for the first time, stringing slowly that first sentence, connecting it then realizing they have read, so rewarding

manicures and pedicures

horses

optimistic people

jazz music of the 1920s, 1930s, and 1940s, the flapper era - I think that is a time when a lot of people found their creative nature and let those talents shine - a very carefree bohemian time in history

From making this list of the things that make me happy, I find it is the simple things that do bring me happiness and joy. Once we know our true nature, what makes our heart's sing with happiness and joy, our true self, our true heart and soul, what lies in us that surpasses, our body, mind, emotions, feelings, in finding the essence of who we are, this will allow us to have lasting happiness and ultimate joy.

Love, peace, joy, light, happiness, and truth to all!

Out of the cosmic
Womb of God
Is birthed
Light and love,
Peace and compassion -
From God, creator
Of all things

In the womb of
Creativity
We soar
Out of the
Light of
God's cosmic
Creation,
His body of
Word and knowledge

After a hard workout,
Blood pumping vibrantly
Hot through my veins,
Sweat coating my face
I smile and feel
Gratefully alive
Filled with joy

I invited the night
Full of stars
To dance through
My window
Serenading me
With the first
Song of insects
All senses accosted
As I smell
The burst
Of flower's
Bloom
Tasting it's
Sweet nectar
On my lips

Every day is fantastic, but I had an especially marvelous day yesterday, actually an overall marvelous weekend. I usually don't use the word marvelous, but the day was just that. There is nothing like spending time outside in nature! My mother and I planted banana pepper plants that will give us peppers in about 6-8 weeks. Having my hands in the dirt, digging, planting, watering the newly planted peppers and other flowers, being accousted by all of nature was intoxicating. Every year around this time there is also a jazz festival in our town. I live close to the downtown area so I could hear the jazz music while I planted. The sun was glistening off freshly green leaves of trees, the grass shimmered, swayed, and danced in the spring breeze. The only way I could describe my day in the sun, in nature, working with the flowers and plants was that I was blissed out last night. I could not focus on anything I was so light headed, dreamy, peaceful, full of love, happiness, peace, and compassion, and one with myself. I felt the fusion of my mind, body, and spirit.

When I felt this melding of mind, body, heart, soul, spirit, I thought again of how we are always whole, always connected to one another, connected to all living things, to all things, but there are only glimpses in which we recognize this truth. I want to hold onto the knowing, the truth of this, cherish this knowledge, revere, and respect, it, hold it gently to my heart, then release, sending it out to everyone. When I think of this, I have a vision of myself capturing something like star dust, cupping it in my hand, then blowing, seeing the star dust, float on the breeze, spreading to everything, scattering peace, love, and compassion.

Thank you so much Amber at Sweatpea's Corner blog: http://sweetpeazcorner.blogspot.com/ This is such a pretty award and such an honor to be recognized.

Day 16, 17, and 18 of the 37 Day Challenge:
Yesterday I finished reading The Pull of the Moon by Elizabeth Berg. This was a truly wonderful book to read. The woman in the novel, Nan, ran away from home at the age of 50. She decided to take a road trip by herself, without her husband of 25 years, without her daughter who was in college, and without any friends, she just took this trip on her own for a few weeks. Some parts of the book are absolutely breath taking. Berg writes with a true, authentic voice, says what many people may think, have thought, and experienced. She says at one point in a letter to her husband about her trip, "I know my own luck. I know how rare it is for a person to be able to do this. And I know more and more what I'm doing it for. I feel a kind of strength starting to happen that is wholly legitimate, that is not some trapping I wear until it falls off. It is as though the thing has roots, and seeks the sun with its face turned toward it. And I know I never would have found it without leaving." I think that people can do little things for themselves daily so they do not take such a drastic measure as to go on a road trip by themselves for almost a month like Nan in the novel did. Sometimes we have to leave ourselves to find our own true authentic self. When I'm in nature, write, paint, read, teach, help others, I come out of myself and leave "me" behind, and in that I find myself.

Days 13, 14, 15 of the 37 Day Challenge:
On Monday and Tuesday it snowed, so Wednesday through today, we have had typical early spring weather. I have been out and about enjoying these gorgeous days, whether it was sitting in the window seat on windy chilly Wednesday at Borders, drinking a hot chai tea, writing, driving to the lake to look at spring flourishing all around me, sitting in the gazebo in my backyard in the evening, or antique shopping yesterday, and afterward eating at the Varsity. Being in nature is a balm for my soul. I have been graciously waking with a smile on my face each and every morning as the sun wakes me. Also I have been writing a poem a day. This is the poem from yesterday:

I hunger for the
Sunlight of Spring
To spread itself
Endlessly
From sunrise -
To twilight
With the glorious
Sounds of birdsong,
Wind whispering
It's rustle through
New greenery, hearing
The pop as flowers
Bloom into raucous
Vibrant colors
A beauty only
God could create

Day 12 of the 37 Day Challenge:
Today on April 7th it is snowing in Georgia. It is gorgeous here. The wind is blowing too hard for the snow to accumulate, but it is beautiful flying around. So I am in a happy, peaceful place right now, drinking mocha, listening to WAH!, watching the snow fall, reading, writing.

Day 11 of 37 Day Challenge:
I went with my family to the mountains for the day. This is a place that my parents took me as a child; the first time we went on a family vacation was when I was three years old. I traveled with them the same roads we had taken many times before to this place that holds so many memories for me. At one point yesterday we walked beside the river with snowflakes sticking lightly in our hair and misting our face. It was a beautiful day which I am thankful for.

Day 10 Sunday:

I could wake
Everyday to
Sunlight
Flooding through
My bedroom
Windows
Caressing me
With warmth

Day 9 Saturday:
My writing is changing. I've had this feeling for about six or seven months now. I don't see myself as rigid as I used to be in my writing. There is a revolution in writing, a new freedom, but it is elusive and I can't quiet define what has changed in it, other than it is different, and I feel great about this. So this is a poem where I am trying to figure out what is going on with it.

I started wandering
With words,
Not a metaphor,
Or similie,
Something in between
Without definition
Uniting of truth
Creating simplicity
A wonderful way
To write and live
A life comfortably.

Day 8 Friday:

Spring makes
Me hungry
For the youth
Of my early twenties
Nostalgia
Sweet and bitter
Like the pungent
Scent of flowers
In bloom
Not able to hide
Their vibrant
Brilliant colors,
Splashes of hues that
Delight the senses,
Obscures inner beauty
That slowly grows into
It's own and emerges.

Day 7:
It was a sleepy rainy night and this morning I pressed my snooze button on the alarm clock three times. I did this because I want to wake up with a smile on my face before I get out of bed. By the third time I was ready to stretch my arms above my head and smile as I hopped out of bed to start my day. This is the poem I worked on:

I invited the night
Full of stars
To dance through
My bedroom window,
Serenading me
With the first
Song of a new season
A buzz of
Insects;
All senses accosted
As I smelled
The burst
Of flower's
Bloom
Tasting it's
Sweet nectar
On my lips.

Yesterday, for day 5 of the 37 day challenge, I did write in my journal, but did not make it to post. I also woke up with a smile on my face, thankful for the new day that God had blessed me.
This is the poem that I wrote yesterday; it is short, sweet, to the point:

Dying embers of the
Setting sun reflect
A change in season.


Today, on day 6, I woke up to the sound of rain drizzling on my roof and windows and honestly snuggled back down into the blankets to get warm to sleep an extra few minutes. Five minutes later when the clock went off, I smiled turning it off, thankful for the five extra minutes of being in my cocoon warmth of bed sleeping, then I smiled again as my feet hit the floor. I was eagerly ready to start my day with a smile.

I am thinking today of one thought that kept surfacing throughout the day. The thought needled me, calling for my attention. The thought is this: People create life stories for themselves and about themselves, and this becomes their prison. Free yourself. I don't know if this thought was meant specifically for myself or in general for others. It has captured my attention and I will give it more thought. I am in the process of shedding some old thought patterns, beliefs and expanding myself. Life is a learning process, to continually learn and expand. This is one of life's greatest gifts - limitless potential.

Today is day four of the 37 day "challenge." This morning, the clock sounded like a screeching siren as it woke me up from peaceful sleep, but before my feet hit the floor I had a huge smile on my face. The poem I wrote today:

Over six billion
Voices speak
The same language
Which is love
We are not
Misunderstood

This morning I woke up, then smiled as I heard the birds chirping, and felt the cool breeze with the scent of rain coming in through the window. I felt grateful, vibrant, happy, and fully alive first thing in the morning, no grumpiness at all. I walked with my eyes wide open into the kitchen to get mocha, then settled in to write in my journal. This is the third morning I have woke up immediately smiling as my eyes were brightened by the light of day. Thank You God for the day I have been given.

I feel the tide of my emotions
Roll in and out
Like waves moving through me
Sometimes fierce, sometimes a gentle lull
Continuous, fluid, always in motion;
But, I always find calm and peace
Within my soul

Yesterday I began the 37 day challenge which is inspired by Patti Digh. Beginning day two, I realize I am going to add to this list and continue to see what works for me, what makes my heart and soul sing and soar, and other things that I should slough away and get rid of so I can feel light, free, peaceful, and in love with the world. I think with such positive feelings there are more positive changes that can happen in the world making it filled with peace, love, compassion, and happiness.

I plan on writing daily. I love to write but it is not something that I practice every day. When I write there is nothing else but the feel of the paper, pen, the thoughts, but yet my environment and surroundings are enhanced: the sun shines more brightly, reflecting off the newly light green leaves on trees, the breeze blows gently caressing my skin, the smell of freshly bloomed flowers smell more sweetly.

I am not a morning person. When I first wake up I am a grump. I will wake up daily with a smile on my face greeting the gift of a new day and reverence of this moment. This will set the tone of the day and open my heart to living in gratitude, being thankful.

These are the two main areas of focus right now. Thank you Patti for your inspiration.

This is a wonderful quote by Su Tung-Po' I had on my calendar this morning when I turned the page to a new day. It sent a calm, focused feeling straight through me that carried me through the day.

"Strike your own evening drum, morning bell,
then shut the door.
Lamp burning low by a solitary pillow;
gray ashes where just now you stirred
the stove to red.
Lie and listen to raindrops splattering the
window."
Su Tung-Po'

We are memory gatherers
Collecting experiences
To help define our
Future selves
When all we
Truly need is
This moment
Then, let it go
Nothing defines
Us but
True Spirit
Of God in our
Soul
Unguarded

Creativity is fickle. I am finally used to inspiration flowing to me easily at times while other times are very stagnant and non productive. There are the ups and downs, ebbs and flows to every aspect of life. I am grateful, feel happier, and better, when creativity flows through my veins red, hot, and fiery. It is a cycle and I truly believe that I need the coolness of creativity's hibernation to set in before I can fully take on inspiration's power again, thus creating.
With the sudden burst of spring like weather this week I have felt a rekindling of my creative spirit emerging with the first green sprouts of spring. Then today is rainy and cold again, but I keep in mind there must be rain in order to nourish the vibrant colors of flowers, trees, and life. These are three separate poems.

When in a loud crowd
I often wish for a solitary
Moment of quiet time with
My books, journal, canvas,
And paints.
In the stillness
That is when
I can hear creativity's
Urgent whisper inspiring me.
______________________________________
Shards of light
Shine through
Spaces between
Black limbs,
Reflecting golden
Off waxy green
Magnolia leaves
______________________________________
Complexity of
Nature's beauty
Takes my breath
Away
Filling me with
A yearning for
Spring in full bloom
______________________________________
A silver moon
Casts it's changing
Light on a blue, black
River, illuminating
Life underneath
Darting, playful life

I hold my hands folded
Around a mug of steaming
Tea like a life perserver
Keeping me afloat
As the tears cascade
Down my face like
The rain outside my
Window,
I feel cleansed,
Clarity surfaces
In many forms,
I feel cleansed.

Train Brain

As I was reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, recommended by a great friend, I had this aha! moment where something inside me clicked making sense. I am reading the book slowly, taking it all in, digesting. This is truly one of the best books I have read, so profound, thought provoking, and inspirational. The book inspires me to apply these concepts to my own life.

Tolle says that we are not our mind, thoughts, and emotions. We can be the observer of these aspects of ourselves, which creates a gap where we can see the essence of who we are, vast and whole. After I read this section, I sat for a long while observing my thoughts as they went around and around. Some people say as they observe their thoughts it is as if the thoughts are on clouds floating by or bubbles, but my thoughts race, as I'm sure that many other's do also. I saw my thoughts as a train racing by. When I identify with my thoughts I get in the engine of the train, then the thought is linked to another thought, so I go to the next car in the train, then the next. At the end is the caboose, but my thoughts don't stop there because there is an engine of another train right behind, so I hop on that one too. These thoughts keep going and going. I visually stepped off the train onto a platform beside the train. At that point I was the observer of these thoughts and not identifying with them, therefore emotions were not attached to the thoughts. The train just passed right on by with the thoughts and I did not get caught up in them at all.

I am now trying to be conscious of my train brain. When I catch myself on the train brain I get off the train, disengage, then watch with non attachment as the train, with thoughts, passes me by. When I step off the train brain I do not fade into nothingness instead I emerge into the sunlight, free.

There are the first few twinges of Spring to air right now. When those first signs begin to show themselves then Spring fever errupts. I love the scent outside during this time of year, the scent of hope. Before our eyes we will see Spring blooming in full, vibrant color.

At the library on Sunday when I was browsing the mystery section, a man who was about eighty years old came over to the woman behind the desk. He began to talk to her and one of the first things he said as he made small talk was commenting on the weather. He was giddy with the sudden warm weather and said on his drive over to the library he got spring fever. Everyone was smiling because the man said what everyone was thinking. There is a happiness, love, peace, vibrancy, and hope about the first buds of spring, sprouting to beginnings that touches a part of each and every person. Maybe it is touching the youth, the child, in all of us that still lingers wanting to be set free again, to run down green hillsides with a kite blowing in the wind, hearing the whistle of a distant train getting closer in the first of Spring's warm breezes.

Sitting out in nature I was listening to the world and this is the poem I worked on.

There is something
About a train's
Whistle as it
Echoes out over
The late winter
Silence that makes
Me yearn for Spring's
Warm embrace.

This week has been so busy. There were times when I was rushed and caught up in the moment, going through the motion trying to get everything finished. Mid week I stopped when I had a few minutes at work alone. As I sat there to catch my breath I realized there is absolutely nothing to stress about. I rummaged through my purse looking for a piece of gum and instead I found a sticky note with quotes on them that I had scribbled during my last trip to Borders for mocha and good reads. These are the quotes that definitely put my mind in bliss mode and brought me back to the present where I should always stay, fully in the present because that is all we are given.

All quotes by Sri Swami Satchidananda
"The fact is, nothing outside you changes, you see only what you choose to see, your world reflects you."

"Life is a play. It was never meant to be a serious heavy thing, our own ego makes it that way. God just wanted to have some fun. That's why He created all of us."

"Happiness is our natural state when we are not doing unhappiness. Happy is what we are, unhappiness is what we do. Who would I be without my unhappiness?"

"Happiness is not dependent on circumstance. Happiness means meeting life as it is and not believeing our judgements and stories about how it should be"

I have been very introspective lately. I have been thinking, losing myself, finding myself as I notice the twinkling shine of Venus so close to the moon, two other stars' milky light in the southern half of the sky ascending higher, moving north west slowly. Then the winter morning, bright and silky, fresh, starting anew. Then as I walked outside, the chilly wind hit me, but it was refreshing, cleansing, as I listened to the wind chimes jingle and the iron sun, moon, star and beaded blue and red sun catcher dazzled beautifully capturing my attention.

The quote in my calendar for today says, "The startling reality of things is my discovery every single day," by Fernando Pessoa. There is a crispness and clarity that winter reality brings.

Only half poems have been running around in my head the last few days, not coherent whole poems, just lines, half lines that are my fluttering thoughts and feelings. But now looking at them, all of these could be combined into one poem.

Barren trees,
Their limbs as black
As midnight
Look like roots
Piercing the dusky
Sky,
Winter wind
Whispers quietly
Through these trees
As they stand tall
In the chill.

I am thankful for this day!

I don't remember
What my face
Looked like before
Tiny thin crows
Feet began to
Faintly form
Around my eyes
And laugh lines
Around my mouth
Forming a paranthesis
Both of which were
Caused by laughing a lot
But I'm proud
Of these spider web
Wrinkles that will
Deepen over time.

The first day of the new year! It is amazing how turning the page of a calendar can change people's mind set but at the beginning of each new year there is a renewed sense of enthuasiam . Every day is a miracle! Each new year, month, week, day, minute, and second brings new hopes, dreams, and possibilities. It is as if there is a clean blank slate waiting to be painted; bold colorful images appear as we live our life to the fullest. One way I live my life to the fullest is by expressing myself creatively, whether drawing, painting, or writing. Writing is an immediate way for me to make sense of my life and give situations meaning. Writing is my love and my passion.

I have always tried to be creative in some way every day. It is a freeing experience to come outside of yourself and display what is inside. I can even remember as a young child working on expressing myself creatively. Before going to school I spent my time watercolor painting each and every day. When I asked, my mom would help me get water in a cup, my brushes, paints, and the paper out. I would sit at our kitchen table and paint for an hour or longer, sometimes I would even go outside and paint in nature. I was so content in my own little painting world.

Then when I five years old, in kindergarten, my first school experience, we were given coloring sheets with scenes, characters, and objects on them and we were expected to color inside the lines neatly. I did not want to color inside the lines on the coloring sheets - before school I had been given free expression before with crisp white pieces of paper to create my own figures, characters, scenes and still craved that freedom. So I would scribble all across the front of the coloring paper and turn it to the back to draw and color my own picture. My teacher would walk by and tell me that I should take my time and color neatly. I resented her greatly. Many days at school I sat out in the warm sunshine watching my friends play as I colored my trees purple, the sky pink, the grass orange, and well ok the sun could be happy yellow. Of course then I was told that the trees were green unless in autumn, the sky was blue, the grass green, and then she said slyly that I colored the sun the right color. After she had told me the "correct" colors for everything I can clearly remember telling her that she had just said to color inside the lines, but not with any specific color. In that class I was not free to express my self and neither were the other children. I was miserable.

Once this same teacher passed each child a handful of craft sticks to create something. So we were just given the sticks and not told exactly what to create but to make anything. I intently began to put together my structure. When the time was up she began to collect each of our creations and put them on another table to dry. She came to each child taking their assembled craft, making positive comments to each of them. I was still busy putting my finishing touches on mine. She came to me, looked down in horror at my craft and with a small sarcastic laugh said, "you used too much glue, it's a mess, and what is it?!" I looked at her with wide eyes and asked if she did not like my abstract art work. She looked as shocked as I did, whether it was from my comment or from my creation, also whether she thought I was a smart ass or if I was really asking her, I still don't know. Which I promise I was truly asking her if she liked it or not. I slowly looked around at the other craft stick creations: houses, stars, fences, even a couple of flowers. I sat there with my face growing red and hot as I thought my art work was not good enough, not like everyone else's art.

I could not wait to get out of that class! As the year ended I was relieved. That fall I entered first grade and had the most wonderful teacher ever. She was nurturing to all the students in the class and we were learning to read, add, and subtract, we did not have much time for coloring. I loved first grade! I still keep in touch with my first grade teacher.

I think that it is ironic that I now teach kindergarten. I am sensitive to the small fragile personalities that are just beginning to blossom in my students. If a student can not truly color inside the lines or form their letters I work with them on fine motor skills to help them develop this ablitity. I don't ridicule them, I simply work with them, giving them space; they make small steps over and over again which in the end produces great growth and confidence in the student.

I will work each and every day to live my life in a freely creative way, which then puts me in sync and rhythm in other areas of my life. Also I see that my experience in kindergarten, when I was five years old, had to happen because if not I may not be a teacher and I may not be sensitive to other people's creative pursuits, or thankful for my own. I charged on painting, drawing, and writing, always listening to my own creative heart and soul. May everyone live in pursuit of the things that bring them happiness!

This beautiful year is ending and another one awaits us. New beginnings! CHANGE!! Such possibilities! Here's to a wonderful start to a new year - 2009!

The gleaming white crescent
Moon casts out a shining
Light, illuminating all
On this chilly winter's
New Year's night
Illuminating hope
And possibilities,
For all to flourish
At new beginnings

This story is a bit different for me. I usually do not write from the fantasy perspective, but it was refreshing to let the imagination run freely. Sometimes I feel like just letting go in writing and letting the imagination go where it wants and needs to go. As a child I loved the thought of Pegasus, unicorns, or any magical creature, they all captured my interest and fed my imagination. When I came across this writing prompt from Heather Blakey at the writing site SoulFood Cafe I had to write a story to get my imagination flowing. Here is the result. Thank you Heather for providing a fountain of ideas to spark creativity!


For days and days, tour after tour, I traveled to remote, populated, and exotic places. On the fifth day we docked in the Gulf of Corinth to visit Greece. I fell in love with the gorgeous clear blue water and warm salt breeze that greeted us. After much debating, we all decided one stop had to be Mount Helicon. The group laughed and joked about having to keep our eyes peeled for the famed winged Pegasus of Hippocrene. As we ate lunch I would occassionally steal looks at the azure sky which had a few puffy white clouds. Every time I looked up I felt silly, embarrassed by my childish fantasy, eager to see Pegasus that only exists in myths, figments of wild imaginations. People began cleaning up where we ate, then began gathering their things.



The assignment while we were there was for each of us to find a secluded spot to write, reflect, contemplate, sketch, create and capture some spontaneous ripple of inspiration. I was intoxicated by my surroundings. I went to the aged rocks of the Hippocrene. Furry green moss cushioned where I sat with my back against an ancient stone wall. I looked in the blue green water, sighed a contented sigh, let my breath out slowly. The day had grown hot and the cool stone felt great to my heated flesh. I gazed wistfully, taking in the soothing sound of a trickling water, the sway of the trees blowing gently in the wind, the smells of divine flowers wafting to my nose; my senses engaged to my surroundings.



Finally I took out my journal wanting to capture what I saw and felt, realizing words could never completely describe what I was experiencing. In the warm sun's rays I let my head loll gently back onto the rock wall. I squinted into the sun, then I sat in a day dream looking up into the gorgeous sky. Lost in a transcendental moment I was suddenly snapped back into reality by a magnificient sight. A speck in the distance caught my eye. Something huge and white was gliding in slow wide circles across the endless blue sky. Shielding my eyes from the bright sun, I tried to get a better look at the object. Still all I could make out were enormous snow white wings. As it slowly descended, getting closer, I gasped. The most beautiful horse....horse with wings, the famed Pegasus, landed gracefully a good distance away from me, then trotted over to greet me. I stood mesmorized, not able to take my eyes from him.



Pegasus swished his tail, stamped his feet, threw back his mane. He was the most beautiful creature. We stared, sizing one another up. With what seemed like an eternity, I finally worked up the courage to ever so slowly extend my hand to Pegasus' nose. I took a deep breath as I felt his soft fur. He blinked at me with his sweet chocolate brown eyes, then nuzzled my hand. I fed him some left over purple grapes, patted him on the side playfully. I smiled as I began to rub his fur and comb my fingers through his silky mane. Then he bowed to me. Puzzled by his behavior, I did not understand this at all. Pegasus snorted and nodded his head to me. I looked into his eyes which were filled with love and fiery life. An unspoken command surged from him to me, comprehension dawned on me. Without any hesitation, I walked beside him, gently holding onto his side, I threw my leg over, climbed onto Pegasus' back. He immediately stood up. I seemed to be sitting on top of a mountain; little gasps of happiness, exhilaration, and nervousness escaped from my lips as he joyfully pranced. Then with one giant unexpected leap we were in the air; we flew higher and higher. The tree tops became tiny pin pricks as the grass became small squares covering the tapestry of land. We were warmed by bright sun as a cool breeze swept over us from all sides. At times the wind was strong, but Pegasus had a destination and his goal was to get us there. I had no idea where his determined flying would take me, all I cared about was the freedom that I felt gliding through the air on that beautiful strong creature's back.

We continued to fly on and on, day turned to night. The creamy cobalt sky was thick with stars as they twinkled and the moon glowed with a warm amber light. I giggled as the wind blew my hair out, fanned it behind me, tickled my face. Pegasus glanced down then turned his head slightly toward me to let me know it was time to land; we began our slow descent. I understood him, we again had unspoken communication vibrating between us. When we landed with a gentle thud I was almost disappointed. But when I stepped off Pegasus, he looked me straight in the eyes, telling me the adventure was far from over. He nudged my hand as if to guide me. On the ground we walked a silver moon lit path through a meadow surrounded by trees. I trusted Pegasus, letting him lead the way into the unknown. We walked to the edge of some woods. That is when I first noticed a house, a little cottage, set back in the trees with smoke billowing from the chimney.

Pegasus prodded me on; before I knew it I was at the door of the cottage only to discover it was open. He stood so close, not giving me an inch to move, he wanted me to go inside. I peeked in the door then stepped inside reluctantly. The room was cozy and inviting. I couldn't resist it; I walked into the center of the room, took in my surroundings, from floor to ceiling four walls lined with book shelves filled with books, from the comfy overstuffed pale green chair beside a roaring fire, to the desk at the window with a view of the meadow and woods. Gathering myself I walked to the door to have a look in the other rooms. In the next room I found a kitchen and dining room table. The next room was a bedroom and the last was a bathroom with a huge claw foot tub. I thought in that second, oh to take a hot bubble bath in that!

The room laden with books captured my attention again. I wandered back to the library looking at the shelf nearest to me. Books of poetry, short stories, novels, cookbooks, books on art, and of every subject lined each and every surface. I browsed and browsed, finally spotting the camouflaged ladder built into the book shelf. So I climbed up to see the books on the top most shelves. I collected several books of poetry to explore. Quickly I climbed down to sit in a chair beside the fire. I read poem after poem, devouring them. I stared into the fire for a very long time watching orange-red, blue-white flames. Finally I was compelled to go to the desk beside the window. On the black wood spacious desk I found lilac assessories: a pencil holder, file container, paper, but all green pencils and pens. I sat down at the big desk marveling at the contrast of colors; the dark of the desk, the light lilac and pale green, all blended and meshed to become a contrast in beauty.

I began to write about meeting Pegasus, of his glorious mane and the unspoken communication between us. I was so absorbed in writing, I was in the moment, I barely paid attention to how warm it was inside, how drowsy I was becoming. Finally I dozed off to sleep in a deep sleep, only to be jolted awake a few minutes later as someone called my name. I slowly opened my eyes and found the group of people I was traveling with staring down at me. I was lying on the rocks in the warm afternoon sun on the banks of the Hippocrene. One of my friends said, "Wow, looks like you wrote a good long story before you drifted off to sleep!" I lifted my journal, read the entry about my encounter with Pegasus. I smiled and squinted once more to the open azure sky above just in time to see a quick white flicker dart behind some trees.

I absolutely love this time of the year! People seem happier, are more conscious and willing to lend a hand to help others more than any other time during the year. It's wonderful to help those who need our attention the most, our forgotten and ignored, who need to be remembered; for me personally to go the extra mile to make their life easier, happier, lessen burdens, and bring a smile to their face, but I also have to remember to extend myself to everyone I come in contact with. I want to believe in the magic of kindness, of shared humanity, not only during this time but always. I also think once we take care of ourselves emotionally, physically, mentally, and nurture our souls, then we can move to extending that care to others. With all of this in mind I was inspired to write this poem.

In this season of baubles and bows
Battle for authentic voice
To be heard above the endless chatter
Is a daily struggle
In an ego driven world.

Premio Dardos

WOW! Thank you Christina at Soul Aperture http://soulaperture.typepad.com/myweblog/ for sharing this award with me; this means a lot to me. I am inspired daily by Christina's compassion and love for this world, her life, her family, and others. How she views this precious life is evident in her photography and her writing to accompany her photographs. She is a role model to her own children along with anyone who comes in contact with her. Her work is amazing and she is such an authentic, honest, fun person. I am very blessed to have found her in this vast blog world and now call her a dear friend. You know if you had not already given me this award I would give it back to you Christina.

There are so many amazing blogs that people develop with such creativity, vitality, and honesty. When I post writing it comes from my heart, I see my writing as an extension of myself and how I am able to make sense of the world. When any kind of art, or creative endeavour comes to fruition to be shared then it inspires and ignites that spark in someone else. This is an award that is given to acknowledge blogs that have cultural, ethical, literary and personal values.
With that "criteria" in mind I'm sharing this award with these people:

Carnal Zen: http://carnalzen.com/

Patricia Mosca From The Inside Out: http://writingaffirmations.blogspot.com/

Michelle In Search Of Infinite Bliss: http://michellechant.wordpress.com/

January Poet Mom: http://poetmom.blogspot.com/

Frankie Soul Of A Dreamer: http://phranqueigh.blogspot.com/

Carla Zena Musings: http://zenamoon.typepad.com/weblog/

The Will of One: http://journeyofgrief.blogspot.com/

Every Poet Needs A Patio: http://robinkemp.wordpress.com/

Thank you all for your inspiration!
1) Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person that has granted the award and his or her blog link.
2) Pass the award to other blogs that are worthy of this acknowledgment.
3) Remember to contact each of them to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

Under
Layers of my
Psyche lies the
Fire light of
Life
When all
Falls away,
Only God's love
Remains
All else is in
Vain

Life's wilderness
Pale, early Autumn sunlight
Streams through trees
Irridescent hue
Sky, surreal blue,
A few puffy white
Clouds glide past
Pure, virginal contrast,
To nature's vibrant colors
Chaos in harmony.

I was tagged by Christina from Soul Aperture to share 7 things about myself. This is exciting to do. I think because we take ourselves as we are sometimes, the little things that make us unique are not processed, it's just automatic. This is a perfect way to really think about yourself. I like this a lot. Thank you Christina!

1. I love creative writing, especially writing poetry.

2. I have been a vegetarian for a year and a half. I was a vegetarian in college for several years, then fell back into eat meat. A year and a half ago I became a vegetarian again and see this as a lifelong committment to myself. I feel healthier without eating meat. I also don't condemn other people who eat meat because they are doing what is right for themselves and I respect that.

3. I love to draw and paint. Not to say that I am good at drawing, painting, or writing, but I love to be creative and have fun creating.

4. I love to read and read all types of genres.

5. I love all types of music but I can not sing well or play a musical instrument. I think I could actually be tone deaf.

6. I am a teacher. I love when a child begins to read. The expression on their face when they see words they know, string them slowly together, and comprehend that the words they are reading are words they know and they read it by themselves is wonderful; it is truly priceless.

7. I am a procrastinator and put things off until the last possible minute. I think that I work better at the last minute and do not have time to second guess myself.

Ok, I can't wait to hear from:
Dawn at Carnal Zen
Michelle at In Search of Infinite Bliss
Frankie at Soul of A Dreamer
The Will of One

When my alarm clock went off this morning I heard Senator John Lewis rejoicing on the morning radio station I listen to. It was a wonderful way to start my bright and sunny day. I am relieved and so very happy to know we have a Democrat back in office and that is Barack Obama. He is living proof that any dream and aspiration a person has, if the goal is sincerely thought with good intention, a person will achieve and live their dream, ultimately helping others. He is not only the person who will do his best to mend a broken hearted nation, but the world.

I support our nation and our troops. I am proud of the men and women who risk their lives daily to ensure that people are kept safe, but now it is time to look at a way to bring them home to their families. This time is way overdue and now we will begin to see this happen because of Barack Obama. He believes in a strong family and that can begin to take place with more of our troops back in our country leading and living peaceful lives, not fighting. I feel like now I can be proud of our nation, our troops, and the wonderful leadership that starts with a new President. Barack Obama is what this country has been waiting for to bring fresh new ideas, concepts, policies, and to think outside the box to come up with innovative solutions that we can all be proud of and be able to stand behind to support. I feel warm happiness as I know that he will do everything, give every issue his 110% and work for everyone.

Every decision that the President makes effects everyone in our country and throughtout the world. We are all connected; there is a common connection between every single person. In that web of continuous connection the link is love. I feel love and hope growing again in America and our world. Let it catch hold in our hearts and grow to engulf all that you do in your life. There is so much inspiration emanating from President elect Barack Obama that it is contagious. I am so proud of Barack Obama and the United States of America right now to have taken such a leap in our democracy. Words are inadequate to fully express the impact this will have on everyone and to ingest this much needed change. I am very proud; pride swells in my heart.

I am so happy I waited until today to vote because I absolutely loved to feel the excitement as I was there voting. Truly, I knew standing in line, people were making history and making our country and world a better place as we casted our ballots. This is such a beautiful country and world. Our President's actions, reactions, and policies, set the stage and an example around the globe.

Yes, we are on the cusp of history, with winds of change blowing through our country and ultimately our world, scattering seeds of hope!

YES OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!

Some days are just so wonderful, most days are. There is always a steady stream of optimism coursing through my veins and body. The best description is this: sometimes optimism pops, bursts, flows through me, where I feel it’s energy everywhere. I then think of something I read by Jack Kornfield where he says, “We remember our original nature, the boundless heart which contains all things, yet is not limited by them.” In those moments when everything just seems to fit together cohesively that is when we are our original selves. We are filled with light and when we allow our authentic, original part of us shine, the light only gets brighter and brighter. When our light does get brighter, we send it out into the world making it a better more uplifted place.

“All positive energy to the benefit of all living things.” I read this quote several months ago and have written it on a post it note which is on my computer so when I am writing poetry or talking to a friend it is a reminder right there in front of me. I read it everyday like a mantra that is getting memorized by my body, mind, and spirit in hopes it penetrates all aspects of my life so that it can be part of my light, to be shared with others. What we convey to others is brought back to us, making our light stronger or dimming our light. This quote reminds me that I want to send out positive energy to others because ultimately what I do to others is what I do to myself. Love yourself, be your authentic voice, true, and let your light shine bright!

I just started reading a new book called Through Painted Deserts, which inspired me to write this poem.

If I were a wanderer,
A gypsy, casting all worldly
Goods aside to live outside
Of walls, only the sky as
My ceiling and
Grass as carpet,
I would watch stars
Cutting holes of light
Through the night
Burning without knowledge
Of their beauty
We are all really
Vagabonds,
Gypsies, and wanderers
In this glorious life.

Many times people should have their attention brought to face the harsh realities of poverty because everyone has the routine of their own lives and often times this subject is not thought of. It is difficult to think of poverty, of people doing without the necessities, when you are the person who has been blessed with so many privileges. In many instances people don’t think about it because of the feelings that arise, such as guilt for having so much, or sadness that our world is filled with many people suffering from poverty, or helplessness because a person feels one person can not make a difference, or anger at the people who do have the ability, money, to make a difference in the lives of others but don’t and will not. We can all make a change, whether small or large, the positive act of helping is still making a difference in the lives of others.

I believe that fighting against something only makes what we are fighting for happen. I believe in setting my energy for positively acting on things that I am for. I am for ending poverty.

I have written a poem about poverty. I am by no means taking a frivolous attitude about such a serious topic. I am trying to convey that instead of taking action by helping others we look the other way thinking the tragedy of poverty will go away. Every small action that we can take will help and we can all work together to make a difference, to show people there is another way of life.

In the bookstore
I sit back and sip
Maple white mocha,
Scan articles
On meditation,
To nourish the soul -
Down the road
A girl goes without
Running water.
In my insular bubble
I read on,
Oblivious.

Every Tuesday morning
As I drive to work
I see the same woman
Waiting at the Public bus stop
On her way to collect
Her weekly welfare check;
Back at her house
Her husband molests
Their children.

The world keeps turning.

Thank you Christina from Soul Aperture for the wonderful friendship award! Your friendship is such a blessing and means the world to me!
Thank you to these people for their creativity, inspiration, sassiness, grit, and honesty!

Vintage Diva at: http://vintagedivvagirl.blogspot.com/

Carnal Zen at: http://carnalzen.com/

Michelle at: http://michellechant.wordpress.com/

Frankie at: http://phranqueigh.blogspot.com/

The Will of One at: http://journeyofgrief.blogspot.com/

If you would like to participate:
1. Post these awards somewhere on your blog.
2. Link to the person who gave you the award.
3. Nominate at least 5 other blogs.
4. Put links to those on your blog.
5. Leave a message on those blogs.

I woke up on Saturday morning early just because of being in the routine of getting up early Monday through Friday. So as I watched the sunrise I sat sipping mocha and writing.

I watched
The golden
Sun birthed
From darkness
Shedding it's
Cloak of stars

On the drive home from yoga the sky was a gorgeous contradiction of vivid color with the setting sun sliding into dusk. Would I have noticed this spectacular act of nature if I had not been flowing over with awareness from the relaxed yet energized yoga I had just experienced? Maybe, maybe not. It is about taking the time, taking the moment in which we are in to enjoy the beauty that surrounds us always. The beauty is there we just have to notice it, to open ourselves to the beauty, to ourselves, to life, to live, to the world; to live our life passionately.

Yoga opens me. The experience of it opens me to possibilities, boundless, limitless life that is meant to be fully lived, completely aware, and completely happy.

Surrender.

We breath into the parts of our body that are tense, bringing breath to those areas, giving those areas light, warmth, then to loosen. Our teacher said this evening to surrender into the posture. Don't endure it, to really let go and feel it. Those words resonate in me. To me that used to be a contradiction. How can I feel it, surrender to it, yet not endure it if there is a challenge? The aha moment this evening was to just let it be just as it is. The particular moment we are in is perfect just as it is. This "it" can be anything in life.

I am coming to realize, with experience, doing yoga is not just about the postures, but the coming together, from perceived fragmentation to wholeness.

Bars filled with
Mists of smoke
And mirrors all
A mirage, a facade
To mask and hide
The real person;
Can never find solace there

The temperature has dropped considerably here. For the first time I sense fall around the corner. Some of the leaves have started to turn yellow, along with cooler temperatures, which all signal autumn. I love the fall season, it is my favorite time of year. The world takes on a vibrancy with colors and a crisp chill that is in the air. The brilliant fiery colors of the leaves and foliage speak of their true nature in this world. All of this combined makes me feel awakened, alive with new ideas, all of my senses more in tune to everything in life. The smells of nature become sharper in fall; the clear blue sky, which can only be described as azure or sapphire is gorgeous. The whole world beautiful, cooling down after a sweltering summer. I realize now it is still a bit early for fall, but there are signs telling us it is on it's way and this makes me very happy.

Yoga on Monday was wonderful! I gently twisted into positions that I never thought I could get into, was focused and concentrated which took me out of my everyday thinking, leaving the chaos of the mind behind. There was a centering meditation time, which focused on our breathing, at the beginning of the class. The instructor presented the class with the intention of gratitude, she brought our focus back several times to the intention set at the beginning of class. Then we did postures for 45 minutes. Then at the end there was another centering time where we focused our concentration on breathing consciously. I didn't think it was possible but at the end I was both energized but relaxed also. Instead of my breathing being an ignored reflex it became a connecting point of awareness, life, vitality, making the full circle back to gratitude. I still can not express completely, fully, appropriately this experience because it was so very different from my own unstructured practice by myself. Was it group dynamics and energies working together; being so focused, centered, aware; the body, mind, consciousness/soul connection; or all of these things combined that made me feel so wonderful?

Tomorrow evening I start my first yoga class. I have been interested in yoga for years, practicing on my own and with videos, but this will be my first structured class. I am very excited but also nervous about it. Checking out and participating in a structured yoga class was a goal I set for myself at the beginning of 2008. I have spent all this time researching and looking for a class that I thought I could get the most from and learn the most. It is Pranakriya yoga that focuses on breathing while in the postures, promotes relaxation and will help to deal with everyday stresses. I think that all yoga would have these benefits but this type spoke to me and what I am looking for in a class. I can't wait and I am so looking forward to it!

Last week there were storms almost daily. We definitely needed the rain, so that was a welcome sight. I love storms; nature's power and beauty are phenominal. I find most of my inspiration from and in nature; the weather inspired this poem:

Overhang of clouds
Grey and dismal
A foreboding of the
Late summer
Storm to come;
Flashes of light
Reveal the pink
Under belly of sky
Before scissor sharp
White lightning
Streaks across a
Starless night
Crashes of thunder
Rumbles,
Echoes in the distance

People lose themselves
To the things they
Seek and crave
The essence of
Being lies in
Love -
Your search is in vain
Remember -
Only love

A few weeks ago I got together with an old friend. We met 13 years ago in college. We talk on the phone 2 to 3 times a week and often daily. It had been a while since she and I had got together to go out and then spend some time talking face to face. I drove to her house, we talked, went out to dinner, then back to her house. The two of us talked and laughed for hours. We ended up talking as sunset turned to dusk, which turned into night. As I drove home in the middle of the night I felt a happy contentment that only comes with getting together with a cherished friend. That is when I remembered a wonderful book I read at the beginning of summer. The main character in the novel was named Sammar, pronounced like summer. Someone asked her why her parents named her that and she said Sammar means deep conversation between friends that lasts way into the night. There is something about those long talks between friends which last for hours that hold meaning for people; those seem to be the best conversations, so meaningful. I hope that everyone gets to experience sammar more often to bring us closer together, more understanding, clarity, and deeper friendships.

This poem was written after I had just spent some time praying and meditating.

The labyrinth
Of my heart
Burns with goodness
Majestic colors
Unite and ignite
In my soul
Sky blue
Expanding with
Each breath

I haven't updated in a while. I was busy most of March, April, and May wrapping up the end of the year teaching paperwork. Then I taught summer school the month of June, which was only half days and very rewarding to see how much the students grow and get ready for the next grade level. So July is a time when I get back to being fully engaged instead of on autopillot trying to get everything finished. A new goal is to cultivate an awareness and engagement with all things all the time. I can accomplish this some of the time but not all of the time. After a restful break my concentrated awareness will last several months until work gets stressful again. I am working hard with strategies at this point to remember to remind myself when things do get stressful that I can be more fully engaged. I plan on keeping these strategies in place, kind of in a reservoir for when I need them most.

The first week of July was clear of all demanding tasks. I felt a little untethered and restless because when you go from being task oriented for months and months and finally it's time to settle down for a while, I felt lost almost. It was the first time I did not have any to do list since Spring Break. I went to the beach for Spring Break and had a wonderful time.

I went to Asheville for summer vacation last week and had an even better time than I did at the beach. I absolutely love the mountains. There is a calming energy that soothes me when I am in the mountains. The trip to the mountains for the week was just the tonic that I needed. I loved sitting out on the deck of the cabin looking across to mountain peaks and down to the lush green valley below me. I enjoyed touring Biltmore, going to the botanical gardens at UNC, I walked a few of the trails there and loved that, and toured downtown historic Asheville. I loved going to the art galleries, antique shops, all the speciality shops there. There is an eccelectic taste in the town that bites of originiality, uniqueness, and this in turn brings it out in yourself. At least it does for me. I especially loved one coffeehouse that stands out in my mind, The Green Sage. It has delicious lattes, almond coconut mini cupcakes, and a terrific atmosphere. It is on a corner of the street and you see all the people passing by going to their desitinations. I sat there drinking my latte, watching the world go by both inside the coffeeshop and outside also. I went there several times and did a little writing also. The place's atmosphere is very conducive to writing.

Coming from struggling to get everything done in a certain amount of time to having an abundant amount of "open" time takes some getting used to. With a little bit of patience and nurturing myself I now feel I'm centered and balanced which leads to happiness, or because of happiness I now feel centered and balanced. I feel the coming together, the cohesion, everything melding, and now I have again found my creative voice.

In the dark night
It is only me that
Fills the silence
Breathing
A natural rhythm

Evening light
Plays across
The dining room table
Dappled and dancing
Doves coo their peaceful
Melody, winter wind
Carries the song aloft

The days have begun to gradually get longer with noticeable more sunlight. This makes me smile a huge smile. Although I know some of the coldest days and nights still await us, the knowledge of more sunlight warms and fills me with optimistic happiness.

Ripples reflect
A changing image
Days race on
Stark, barren trees
Dark against a
Sapphire sky

In the essence

Of my being

I hear creativity's

Urgent whisper

Which my

Soul craves

If I am only still

And quiet enough

To listen

Every moment
Breaks, shatters
Into an array
Of hopeful possibilities

Fire of winter’s
Sunset fades
To glittering stars
In a cloudless sky

Remnants of a discarded life

Lay scattered on the floor

Sky a constantly changing blue

All of this inevitable but until then

I want to dance at

Midnight underneath

A full gleaming white moon

Watch stars streak across

The wide expanse of cobalt sky.

I painted the whole canvas in vibrant yellow
Last night with the lights dimmed, the moon
Casting rays as strong as the sun's through my windows
Thick, happy yellow sunbursts of color while listening to
Tranquil Nora Jones and Enya tunes, adding mixes and splashes of
Related pigments
Umber and sienna providing depth.