I've been pondering what blocks me from being who I am, feeling my power of myself for myself, and the bravery to show my authencity and not shy away from that? So with all that thinking, I wrote a poem that will help me make sense of where I'm going with this.
I want to excavate, dig, and tunnel
Until I open all emotions I have
Ever repressed.
When an emotion, that we see as unwanted arises, the first instinct is to shield ourselves from the full extent of the experience, feeling, and emotion. This is our coping strategy to keep ourselves "safe." The shielding from any unwanted emotion is repression. After repression settles in time, layers form, then there is an awareness of the layers, finally the excavation of the layers. When the layers are peeled away, at the center, the core, brilliant radiant light shines and is never dimmed. Light of love. A still, peaceful center filled with light and love, that changes yet is unchangable all at once.
This lead me to another poem:
I'm not in control of my life
Control is an illusion
God creates the ebb and flow
I'm along for the ride
For which I am grateful.
To think we are in control of our own lives is our mind's safety net. God is the river of life in which we flow. I'm filled with love, peace, light, and gratitude!